There was a point in my life when I hated myself so much because of who I am and what I am (the obvious) not because I didn’t feel loved or accepted, but because I wished I was different, or normal in people’s eyes, and life would have been easier for me and those around me.
Overwhelmed by that frustration and defeated by fear, I lived in the shadows for years with some painful experiences being made fun of and feeling unworthy. But eventually, I got tired of the useless negativity I put on my shoulders.
Finally, after years of being in the background trying not get noticed, I came to a great realization and told myself, ‘You weren’t born into this beautiful world to think about what other people think all the time and be afraid. You are here to be your own. Just do you.’
So here I am – almost 27 – a seemingly ‘over-confident’ person who you probably haven’t even spent a week with or had a conversation with, and you know only as that annoying guy in social media.
Believe me I respect that.
I respect what you think and feel.
I respect you.
Rolls eyes regardless.
But just so this post will at least have some meat in it, let me tell you the old me would have also been a hater of this guy you see sashaying his flawsome-ness onscreen. You see I used to think that confident people are fake, narcissists and what not. Well they could be, right?
Or they could also just be comfortable with themselves.
But it was a rather long journey of self-doubt, self-discovery, self-awareness, self-acceptance, and finally self-love. I could have been eaten whole by a black hole into nothingness but I prevailed and here I am – relentless.
I learned that it’s okay to love your own skin literally and figuratively. People will always have things to say – nice or nasty – and that’s okay. Don’t hold that against them.
People have PREFERENCES. That’s why there’s a multitude of flavors of ice cream to choose from. I hate strawberry ice cream by the way. Some people like cats and others adore dogs. I love coffee but tea won’t hurt. We live in a democracy and born with the power to think for ourselves and choose for ourselves.
So, your life, your rules. Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you should wear or not wear, of course with respect to the rules that govern you at a certain context. Say you can’t be naked in a church. And I would probably laugh at you when you’re wearing your track pants to the beach.
But I am not saying you cannot wear the OOTD you like and feel good about it.
Speaking of OOTDs, if I had it my way, I will post every single thing I wear every day on social media and annoy the hell out of you. Evil laugh. But I respect that you want to see more important things on your feed than what I’m wearing – maybe your favorite artista’s new nail polish, the recipe of the ginataang pako you’d been wanting to cook, or a recent posting from your suking online shop.
This is why I always say there’s an Unfriend button, and an Unfollow button which the creators of Facebook devised to help you solve your third world problem.
My feed, my rules, right?
Am I sounding like I am addressing this post to my “bashers”? Yes. You got it. Pasok ka na sa Semis!
My point is, social media is for sharing and sharing is caring. I post my OOTDs because I want you to realize than green and maroon can actually look good together and that a 20- peso pair of pants from the ukay ukay can go a long way. (By the way black pants and brown shoes is a NO generally).
You get the point.
Let me confess, I always ask my closest friends’ opinion if I am over sharing and they’ll be like, ‘Yes!’ And then we’ll burst into laughter because we know I still don’t give a beautiful damn.
Although I know people are also put-off by the seeming ‘over-confident’ way I present myself in social media, what you do not see is the real me laughing at myself in the behind the scenes. Because really, why take ourselves too seriously? It’s supposed to be fun.
To be very honest, putting my GD face out there is very empowering – claiming your right to be heard, to be seen, to express. It’s a medium. To me, it’s more than creating networks – it’s also a medium that squeezes out my creative juices and brings out everything positive about the person I grew up (still growing up) to be – who is at peace and confident.
And, confidence does not mean you’re better than anybody, it means we’re all equally deserving of the little space allotted to us in this universe. Claim your throne.
You choose the life that suits you. Whether people approve it or not is their problem. What matters most, I feel like Oprah, is that you approve of and love yourself. xx