Somewhere along the way, you’d feel that want to ‘undo’ a couple of things in the past and start anew. When all gets mixed up or when things don’t come out as planned, you just want to sleep and hope that once you wake up again, all will be…
Back to zero.
But life doesn’t work that way. Even in your sleep, you can’t possibly forget the dim realities you face every single day – frustrations, fears, failures.
You tire off with the same trials and errors over and over, again and again.
It seems as though you can’t move forward into something better, something you feel you deserve. And you ponder whether to call it discontentment if you feel that you are given less than what you deserve or call it proud ambition to actually think you deserve it.
And your wings are clipped because you have big shoes to fill — besides, you can’t possibly levitate as the weight on your shoulder is too heavy to carry.
At one point, you seem happy with what you have; and then suddenly you contemplate over going another direction and leave all else behind and go…
Again, you stop yourself and stay because you are afraid to take a risk, knowing that there are people who depend on you.
With every risk that you may take, you do not only bet on yourself but on them who rely on your every move. This is different from your Spelling Bee in Grade 1, when you just go there and whatever will be, will be.
You cannot gamble. You can’t depend on the hope that you could win, because you wouldn’t afford to fail.