A Vow of Silence

I am never confrontational. Although I also (often) argue with people’s ideas, I always keep the argument in my coconut shell. I take the way of silence.
While I’m usually silent when I don’t agree, those who know me truly should be able to know that I am at the other side of the thread. Those who think they know me would think they got my seal of approval, when in my head I would say, ” Shut the **** up!”
But that is, as I’ve said, only in my head. Only in my head.
Until I write them down to release whatever my reservoir has stored for the longer, or shorter time, whichever is applicable.
So is now, a moment when I just type and type and let ideas flow like air, hot air that can fly a balloon into the sky where it will be freed and where it could find peace.
Writing gives me peace- the same peace I get when I shut my eyes to slumber and bid the wary world a temporary goodbye.
But not for long, as I wake up again and see that life, though beautiful in endless, inexplicable ways, is also unfair.
Well, it is not supposed to be perfect after all.
In a perfect world, I would wake up with the assurance that the sun will shine to dry up the laundry with my favorite shirt; that I would not need to wake up at 4 Am to make sure I get to work early; that work will be good to me in many many ways.
But there was never a perfect day, only perfect seconds or milliseconds  The next hours could be bland and in some very unfortunate cases, horrible.
It is horrible when you are caught between speaking it all up and keeping them. When you are bugged about speaking up because you could hurt feelings in the process. Also, when not speaking could lead to claustrophobia and emotional death.
Both cases are as horrible and deadly.
So the choice to be confrontational or passive is yours and mine.
I’ll take the vow of Silence until my heart dies not speaking.

 

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