Top Reasons I Don’t Like Taking Phone Calls

  1. I hate my voice. Cracking. Pitchy. Gender-disordered. Believe me – not once did I try recording my voice and it was awful to listen to. This is also one of the many reasons I never tried to become a CSR, host or worse, a singer.
  2. I have a listening defect. Or at least, I have problem comprehending when the message is delivered through the wire. For instance, when you call to tell me you’re going to the party in ten minutes, my ears tell my mind you’ll be there in ten minutes after an hour. Something wrong with the ear or the brain really.
  3. I have an oil problem. Let me illustrate with an anecdote. So a friend, after not talking to me in maybe 3 hours, called to update me with her life. It lasted for maybe a good 10 minutes. And then as my phone felt feverish since there is also a battery issue, I touched the screen and found significant amount of oil – you can almost fry your beef burger patty. Yikes!
  4. I have trust issues. Come on, how am I going to believe you when I cannot see how your eyes are rolling, or how you are smirking with your veneered teeth as you say things over the phone? Case in point, a kidnapper negotiating with the victim’s family tells them to leave the ransom at a garbage bin near a dilapidated garage, and to not tell the authorities or something will happen to the victim. So the victim’s family “agrees”, although they are already with the police who are tracking the call. Trust issues.
  5. I suck at speaking, that’s all. If you need to talk to me, chat me (because SMS is dead). Written communication is how I use my swords better. Or better yet, see me. Maybe you’ll find answers from the way my perennially raised eyebrows are talking to you. xxx
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